07 Jan, 2013
Remember The Time
2012 was quite a year for me, with many turning points and steep growing curves. It was a year chock full of twists and turns, roller coasters of emotions, and major discoveries about life and people. There were many unexpected events and lessons - both good and bad - and if not for them, I wouldn't be who I am today, I wouldn't be a brand new person for 2013.
While making new year resolutions is silly because we can always resolute to change any time, any day, conducting reality checks intermittently helps to keep us on track and to rejuvenate us so that we can always be thankful for all the lessons that life has given us. The best way to learn is to always admit your mistakes, and to grow up from there. Because it is only human to err, it is only mandatory that we do not stop learning.
"If you know yourself, then you will not be harmed by what is said about you."
Through the year, I resonate with and learned to live by this quote so much. We can never stop pleasing people, and there is no meaning in leading our lives in accordance to how people think we should. We just have to do the best we can to be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them to decide our worth.
I had done many things my way, I had spoken my mind, and I had made decisions because I loved myself. Some stayed by me to grow with me, some failed and dropped me. People come and go through series of events, relationships were forged and broken. But that is life - Some people come into our lives and create miracles, while some appear to teach us unforgettable lessons.
When I was 21, I chose to be with someone I thought I could count on. We shared some happiness, we had our fun times, but when two persons have different values and mentalities in life, things crumbled and it was only inevitable. I took too long to muster the courage to walk away, but I know everything happens for a reason. We may not know what, but everything has its place and time.
But one of the best things that ever happened to me in 2012 was finding Love again. Being with someone who really understands, who connects at the same level, who genuinely listens and empathizes is something that I have been dreaming of. Never thought I could find a love like this, never thought I could be so beautiful in someone's eyes, but it happened.
And while I do not know what the future holds, I know I just want to be wonderful for him to love me. The best feeling in the world is knowing you mean something to someone.
It is so easy to find someone to have fun with, but he who can share silence with me is more than rare. I am thankful that despite knowing B for so many years, we still have endless things to talk about. We talk everyday - deep conversations, in case you are wondering. And we can stay with each other for days without feeling bored. How often do we meet people like this, whom we can share anything and everything with?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
"You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most."
The year brought me lessons that I never thought I had to go through, and while change is painful, we must not resist change. People change, that's why people come and go. The worthy ones will brave storms with us, but the fair-weather ones will judge and despise. Sad, but true. We don't always have people agreeing with us, we don't always have people supporting us, but we never need the whole world anyway, because quality always trumps over quantity. Once we let go of the negative people in our lives, positive ones appear.
I am grateful for the people who have always stayed by me and loved me through thick and thin. I am imperfect - I am unreasonable sometimes, I am hot-tempered, I am sensitive, I am insecure, and I cry along with the dramas of my life. But they loved me when I least deserved it. And while there are many who chose to not believe in me, I thank them all the same for showing me different truths about humans.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason or two - some will matter more than others, some mattered and never will anymore, some never meant a thing. In all fairness, we are all beautiful in our own ways, and we all deserve Love. We may not be able to have and hold everyone that we wished we could, because life is a fleeting flight. But if we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
And for the ones who have made an impact in my year - some old friends, some new ones - I thank you for loving me unconditionally.
The best girlfriend, Marilyn. We have spent half of our lives together, and I really want to be there for her through the various chapters of her life - till we both grow old, till we both leave this world with a lifetime of friendship to celebrate.
And for the family who never fails me, I will never stop being thankful - thankful for Dad & Mom who always strive to give us the best in life, thankful for my siblings who bring so much joy to the home. No words will ever justify all the love I have for each and every one of you, but I promise to always learn to love better, and I want nothing but the best for all of you, too.
2012 had taken me to many countries - HongKong, Phuket, Prague, Italy... of which I haven't shared all. And through these travels, I have seen and felt cultures and expressions. They are fascinating to say the least, and though these marvels of life have left me feeling very insignificant, each and every trip had heightened my exposure and boosted my fulfillment.
"Some people go to the ends of the world just to see what they can see."
I want to see the world, I want to always see the world with the ones I love.
And the biggest change of my 2012, was to find myself in the dance studio again after many years of not dancing. Nothing intrigues me more than arts do, and dance is such a beautiful hidden meaning of the soul. Stepping into a Latin dance school and committing to strict training was no mean feat. From knowing nothing about Latin dance, to being brought into the sophisticated world of the various dances, to deciding to be a competitive dancer - the journey has been a rewarding one, albeit sometimes bittersweet.
And in December, I had a change of partner at the eleventh hour, but went ahead for another competition anyway. We only had 5 days to remember our routine and to practice, and there were double the number of regional competitors; double the pressure and fear. But we did not fail our instructors' hopes in us, and once again, I emerged as the champion. It was a moment in time that belonged to me - a moment relieving me of stress and expectations, a moment of pride to share with my family, friends and boyfriend, and a moment of reward and assurance that my sweat and tears paid off with that gold trophy.
While making new year resolutions is silly because we can always resolute to change any time, any day, conducting reality checks intermittently helps to keep us on track and to rejuvenate us so that we can always be thankful for all the lessons that life has given us. The best way to learn is to always admit your mistakes, and to grow up from there. Because it is only human to err, it is only mandatory that we do not stop learning.
"If you know yourself, then you will not be harmed by what is said about you."
Through the year, I resonate with and learned to live by this quote so much. We can never stop pleasing people, and there is no meaning in leading our lives in accordance to how people think we should. We just have to do the best we can to be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them to decide our worth.
I had done many things my way, I had spoken my mind, and I had made decisions because I loved myself. Some stayed by me to grow with me, some failed and dropped me. People come and go through series of events, relationships were forged and broken. But that is life - Some people come into our lives and create miracles, while some appear to teach us unforgettable lessons.
When I was 21, I chose to be with someone I thought I could count on. We shared some happiness, we had our fun times, but when two persons have different values and mentalities in life, things crumbled and it was only inevitable. I took too long to muster the courage to walk away, but I know everything happens for a reason. We may not know what, but everything has its place and time.
But one of the best things that ever happened to me in 2012 was finding Love again. Being with someone who really understands, who connects at the same level, who genuinely listens and empathizes is something that I have been dreaming of. Never thought I could find a love like this, never thought I could be so beautiful in someone's eyes, but it happened.
And while I do not know what the future holds, I know I just want to be wonderful for him to love me. The best feeling in the world is knowing you mean something to someone.
It is so easy to find someone to have fun with, but he who can share silence with me is more than rare. I am thankful that despite knowing B for so many years, we still have endless things to talk about. We talk everyday - deep conversations, in case you are wondering. And we can stay with each other for days without feeling bored. How often do we meet people like this, whom we can share anything and everything with?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
"You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most."
The year brought me lessons that I never thought I had to go through, and while change is painful, we must not resist change. People change, that's why people come and go. The worthy ones will brave storms with us, but the fair-weather ones will judge and despise. Sad, but true. We don't always have people agreeing with us, we don't always have people supporting us, but we never need the whole world anyway, because quality always trumps over quantity. Once we let go of the negative people in our lives, positive ones appear.
I am grateful for the people who have always stayed by me and loved me through thick and thin. I am imperfect - I am unreasonable sometimes, I am hot-tempered, I am sensitive, I am insecure, and I cry along with the dramas of my life. But they loved me when I least deserved it. And while there are many who chose to not believe in me, I thank them all the same for showing me different truths about humans.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason or two - some will matter more than others, some mattered and never will anymore, some never meant a thing. In all fairness, we are all beautiful in our own ways, and we all deserve Love. We may not be able to have and hold everyone that we wished we could, because life is a fleeting flight. But if we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
And for the ones who have made an impact in my year - some old friends, some new ones - I thank you for loving me unconditionally.
The best girlfriend, Marilyn. We have spent half of our lives together, and I really want to be there for her through the various chapters of her life - till we both grow old, till we both leave this world with a lifetime of friendship to celebrate.
The Big Sis, Nicole. She has shown me so much kindness for all the years that I have known her, and she gives me so much faith in humanity. I know that no matter where I go, what I do, she will still be there for me even if I falter. And this is so heartwarming.
Knowing Jessica was incidental, and becoming the best of friends was totally unexpected. I knew Jess 2 years ago, but miraculously, we got so along so well and in 2012, we became so close and attached to each other. My Babygirl is such a beautiful person, and her cheerfulness is so contagious, I have discovered so many more things to smile about when with her.
Edmund and I came a long way, from knowing each other through an impromptu Bangkok trip 5 (or 6) years ago, to forging a friendship through late night chats and huge meals. I can hardly feel comfortable with a guy, but placing my trust and depositing my secrets with him is one thing I have never regretted doing. Though he nags at me incessantly for almost everything I do (wear bright-colored clothes he also can comment for one whole evening), he is surely one friend to stay.
The other Big Sis, Jaslyn. I can't even remember how many years we have known each other for. 8? 10? It doesn't matter, because all that you have done for me and taught me will always be appreciated and remembered. Thank you for being such an inspiration and motivation, and for always guiding me to the right paths in life.
Zhaopei and I started talking on the most random occasion, and since then, she has been such a pillar of strength. She always listens to all that I have to say, she always comforts me when I doubt myself, and our (almost) daily chats always reminds me that girlfriends know best.
In an industry like mine, you can hardly find true friends who will always watch your back. And I am lucky to have met Charlotte and Caron during my Prints days, because these girls are godsend friendships.
And with Shareen, everyday at the office becomes sweeter and a whole lot more pleasant. She is a girlfriend and a great listening ear who is always there for me when I am stressed, when I am frustrated, when I am annoyed, when I am delighted, when I am hyper... I am so blessed to have her.
And for the boss, Michelle, who always guides me and grants me all the chances to learn, thank you for being so humble and genuine. More importantly, thank you for being a girlfriend to me - one whom I can confide in, and turn to when I need a listening ear.
2012 had taken me to many countries - HongKong, Phuket, Prague, Italy... of which I haven't shared all. And through these travels, I have seen and felt cultures and expressions. They are fascinating to say the least, and though these marvels of life have left me feeling very insignificant, each and every trip had heightened my exposure and boosted my fulfillment.
"Some people go to the ends of the world just to see what they can see."
I want to see the world, I want to always see the world with the ones I love.
And the biggest change of my 2012, was to find myself in the dance studio again after many years of not dancing. Nothing intrigues me more than arts do, and dance is such a beautiful hidden meaning of the soul. Stepping into a Latin dance school and committing to strict training was no mean feat. From knowing nothing about Latin dance, to being brought into the sophisticated world of the various dances, to deciding to be a competitive dancer - the journey has been a rewarding one, albeit sometimes bittersweet.
Equipped with humility, determination and a sheer passion for dance, I saw myself through a dedicated year of training and practice. In September, I took part in my first competition, and shocked myself and my instructors with a champion title.
And in December, I had a change of partner at the eleventh hour, but went ahead for another competition anyway. We only had 5 days to remember our routine and to practice, and there were double the number of regional competitors; double the pressure and fear. But we did not fail our instructors' hopes in us, and once again, I emerged as the champion. It was a moment in time that belonged to me - a moment relieving me of stress and expectations, a moment of pride to share with my family, friends and boyfriend, and a moment of reward and assurance that my sweat and tears paid off with that gold trophy.
Dance has given me a whole new purpose in life, and being a dancer has taught me so much about working hard for the things we love. I learn about concentration, I learn about determination and willpower, I learn about dedication, I learn about patience, I learn about teamwork, I learn about emotions, I learn about beauty, I learn about music; I learn to manage stress, I learn to cope with frustrations, I learn to self-motivate, and I learn to embrace my passion.
Being a dancer has let me rediscover myself on so many levels, and when I am lost in music, I dance like there is no tomorrow. And the sense of satisfaction and joy that I get from every lesson, every practice and every competition is immeasurable and irreplaceable. With the new year, I will seek more chances to dance. I don't know if I would win anymore champion titles, but I will dance on, because dancing is what completes me.
And life is like a dance - when you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It is to enjoy each step along the way.
Just dance; gonna be okay.
Being a dancer has let me rediscover myself on so many levels, and when I am lost in music, I dance like there is no tomorrow. And the sense of satisfaction and joy that I get from every lesson, every practice and every competition is immeasurable and irreplaceable. With the new year, I will seek more chances to dance. I don't know if I would win anymore champion titles, but I will dance on, because dancing is what completes me.
And life is like a dance - when you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It is to enjoy each step along the way.
Just dance; gonna be okay.
"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
